Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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