areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
