Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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