umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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