so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
A bitchslap is in order.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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