Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
