I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If that was your dad, he is hot
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
