i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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