my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm both gender and math confused
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
