let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
