I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
