so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
