Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
