We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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