I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
