we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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