these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
