I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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