my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
