Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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