I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
