It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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