Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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