Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
