Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
