i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
