On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
