totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
