Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
