Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
