I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize