pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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