Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
