my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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