Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
