you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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