i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
