I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
