bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
