The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
