i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
