There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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