Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
