Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize