I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
