i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i think im in europe. pls send help
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
