Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
