We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize