My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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