So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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