her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
tell me about the eggs
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
