i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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