I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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