Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
