i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
