Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We left an ass print on the piano.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
