i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
