I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
