I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
