I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
