is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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