it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
