no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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