New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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