Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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