I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
