He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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